Make Me Forget
by icanloveyoumorethanthis
Summary: Kames. James is replacing Kendall's horrific memories.


_you're gonna make me_

_lonesome_

_when you go_

James' cold palm rested on my chest as he gave me a soft smile, his lean fingers gently pressing against the crook of my neck. He brought his other hand up to tangle in my hair before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine.

I felt the corners of his mouth tug up as we kissed, and I allowed myself to smile back at him. His tongue connected with my lips, which opened slowly after a moment of hesitation. He massaged my head and neck with his fingers as his tongue gently probed.

I didn't know what to do with my hands. They were grasping the hems of my shirt tightly, keeping unwanted memories at bay. Memories of my Dad, doing the same thing – just rougher, and not the least bit consensual. I released the shirt with a bit of effort, tentatively bringing my shaking hands up to hair. Suddenly I knew just why James was always touching mine. His hair was soft beneath my fingers and I ran my hands through it over and over and over again. It was a nice bonus; kissing, with a side of hair groping.

A low rumble suddenly escaped my throat as he pulled me in even deeper, becoming increasingly passionate. He pulled back from the kiss a few seconds later and looked at me instead, cupping my cheek with his cold, cold hand. His eyes were glazed with lust as we panted, my chest almost touching his as it moved up and down at a fast pace.

He ducked down again almost immediately, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth before moving downward. Hot, open mouthed kissed found their way to my neck. I clutched his hair like it was my lifeline, letting out a soft gasp when he bit just above my collarbone. My grip on his hair tightened.

He brought his face up to mine automatically, his eyes boring into mine. "I don't want to force you into anything," he said softly. "If you want me to stop, say stop."

I didn't know what to say, so I pulled him in for another kiss. He responded automatically, his hands tangling in my hair and wrapping around my neck in seconds. He pulled away with a quick gasp. "Kendall," he said, breathlessly. "Can I take your shirt off?"

_No_, I wanted to say. But I nodded in the heat of the moment. The answering smile he gave me was so bright and fucking _happy_, it made me glad I'd done it.

He pulled the hem of my shirt up slowly, as if giving me time to back out. I didn't want to do that to him. I raised my arms instead, letting him pull the shirt fully off. Leaving me standing in my semi naked glory, with all my scars on show.

Bad decisions. But I was over them now.

I waited for the disgust to show on his face, for him to demand I put my shirt back on as his eyes stared at my marred chest. But when he finally looked at me, his eyes were glittering.

With tears.

I didn't understand. Was he crying because I was ugly?

He stepped closer again, raising his hand to cup my face. "Hey," he whispered. "_Hey_. You're _beautiful_, Kendall, okay? You're fucking beautiful."

I looked down and focused on his collar. "I'm a fucking etch-a-sketch," I said bitterly, folding my arms over my chest. He wrapped his fingers around my pale wrists and brought them down gently. "You're beautiful," he said again. "You're handsome, sexy, gorgeous, stunning, and downright amazing. I can't tell you how happy I am that you're giving me this chance."

I raised my eyes up to meet his slowly, and he gave me a soft smile. "You're beautiful with the scars, just as beautiful as you would have been without them."

I opened my mouth to reply by he pulled me in for another kiss quickly, ending all conversation. His hands were cautious while they explored my newly exposed flesh. At first they stayed near my neck as our tongues twisted together, but I felt them slowly descending to my chest. His left hand stayed on my shoulder while his right hand traced against my skin. I tried to ignore it and focused on the kissing instead, but all thoughts were forgotten as soon as his fingernails grazed my right nipple. His kissing had moved on to the corner of my mouth, allowing me a sharp intake of breath. He flicked his thumb over it again and I let out a low moan as his kisses trailed down my neck and along my chest. His thumb gave one last flick before his mouth replaced it, his left hand moving towards my other nipple at the same time.

The effect was instant. I arched my back and gave a low hiss as the blood went rushing towards my stomach, tangling my hands in his hair again.

Lick, kiss, swirl.

His thumb grazed over the hard nub.

I pulled at his hair wildly and I felt his smile onto my chest as he switched with hand, his tongue now swirling on the left side of my chest and his fingers playing with the right one. I flung my head back and leaned it against the wall, trying to calm myself down. I was whimpering by the end of it, before he moved his kisses back up. "Shall we move this to the bed?" he breathed. I nodded.

He climbed on top of me once I lay down, whipping off his shirt in the process. I was suddenly aware of my aroused state, the tent in my jeans scaring me as I looked down at it. James saw my look of fear and smiled at me. "I'll take care of it," he said, his fingers gently skimming my ribcage. His hips, which had been hovering just out of reach, lowered gently until his crotch was pressed against mine. Ripples of pleasure shot through me and my hips pushed up automatically. James hissed and did the same, and soon we were a tangle of limbs, moaning and thrusting for all it was worth.

I dug my nails into his back as he moved up and down quickly, letting out a breath with each thrust. "Can I…" he breathed out. "Can I…Take your pants- pants off?"

I nodded quickly and he stopped moving, fumbling with my button and pushing down the zipper. He pulled my jeans off completely and discarded them on the floor before bringing his eyes towards my boxers and at my very obvious aroused state. He palmed my erection through my underwear and my hips jerked forward with no instruction from me whatsoever. I threw my head back and whimpered pathetically. "James," I said. "Please…"

I didn't know what I was begging for.

He raised his hand to his mouth and licked his palm quickly, before returning it back down. His fingertips danced just above my boxers before he slipped his hand in, wrapping his palm around my arousal and dragging it up and down slowly. I arched my back, pushing into his hand, gasping, moaning, fisting the mattress because I had nothing else to hold. He leaned forward on his left elbow and pressed his lips against mine, drowning out the wordless noises escaping my lips.

He passed his thumb over the head of my erection and thrust his tongue into my mouth, effectively cutting off the loud noise that had erupted from my throat. I would have blushed, if all the blood hadn't already been pulled down to my crotch. His thumb passed over the head again and I grabbed his shoulders instead, digging my nails into his skin.

He dragged his fingertips along my length, nails gently scratching, causing me to cry out.

"I'm gonna take off your boxers, okay?" he said softly, as soon as he'd pulled away from the kiss. He could have told me he was going to chop off my balls and I wouldn't have given a fuck. I let out a whimper as he pulled his hand out before he pulled down my underwear. I kicked them off my feet.

"Do you want to bottom or will I?" he asked.

I bit my lip.

_We're actually doing this_.

"I'll bottom," I said, because I didn't want James to be the one in pain.

I reached over and unbuttoned his jeans quickly, pushing them down as far as I could reach. He pulled them off along with his underwear, and just like that we were both fully naked.

"I don't have lube," he murmured. "We're going to have to use spit."

He sat up slowly and I did the same, grabbing his wrist after he'd spat in his hand. "It's okay," I told him. "I'll do it."

He looked at me, his eyes hopeful but uncertain. "Are you sure?" he said. "I don't want to- "

I pushed him down by his shoulders and he lay on the bed. "Relax," I told him. "I've done it lots of times before."

That was probably the wrong thing to say, but it worked. I pushed his legs open and brought myself down until his arousal was just in front of my face then blew on it softly, enjoying his sharp intake of air. I brought my tongue out and slowly licked the dribbling tip.

"_Kendall_," he groaned when I licked his length, dragging my tongue from the base to the tip. "No _teasing_."

I smiled at him, before wrapping my lips around the head and moving down slowly, applying as much suction as I could.

James, it seemed, was a talker.

"Oh, _fuck_," he said, as soon as I started bobbing my head. "Oh god, oh god, fuck, fuck, fuck, ohgodohgodohgodohgodoh _fuck_, Kendall."

I released his arousal as soon as it was nice and wet. James sat up shakily and I took his place, lying against my back. He hovered over me, resting on his elbow, and offered me two fingers. "Can you suck?" he murmured, pressing them against my lips.

I did so, and soon his hand was descending as he stooped in for another kiss. His tongue proved to be very distracting- I only realised James had thrust his finger inside me when we stopped the kissing to catch a breath.

It felt odd.

Daddy had always gone straight to the fucking.

He seemed to be searching for something, twisting his wrist and poking about with his pointer finger. I gave a shuddering breath. He stopped moving. "Shit, did I hurt you?" he asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"Keep moving," I forced out.

He gave me a determined look before his finger started probing again. I was beginning to wonder what exactly the point of this was when the tip of his index finger hit a certain spot.

My eyes shot open and I happened to glance at him. James' dark brown eyes were trained on me, watching me writhe and gasp and moan beneath him. His lips were parted so I could see his teeth and he was panting slightly. He bent down and whispered, "You're so fucking sexy," into my neck, biting softly.

I didn't even notice. His finger continuously hit the spot, causing my toes to curl out of their own accord, with my back arched and my knees brought up. He slowly slipped another finger in and began to push them apart, scissoring for some goddamn reason I didn't understand.

I reached a trembling hand down and grabbed his wrist, effectively stopping him. He gave me a terrified look. "Have you changed your mind?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Stop with the fingers," I murmured. "Get on with it."

I would never get tired of his wonderful, wonderful smile.

I stared at his face while he nestled between my legs, lining his erection up. He pressed the tip against me and started to push in slowly. I growled. "Just push the entire thing in," I said, grabbing his hair.

He chuckled softly and continued his slow penetration.

Just when I thought I would scream if he didn't do something, he slammed forward and I screamed anyway.

It was beyond description. He was pounding into me at a perfect angle, sending waves of pleasure rippling through my body. I could hear him swearing and repeating my name over and over again in my ear, and that was what made this even more perfect.

I was used to men I didn't know saying the names of lovers I would never meet as they thrust into me, but this was James, and he was doing this because he genuinely liked me, not just my body.

I moaned along with him as he drove up into me thrust his hips over and over, pulling me onto him, faster and harder, driving me closer with each thrust. Somewhere in the middle he brought his hand down and wrapped it around my forgotten erection, and the pleasure was intensified.

He'd got me wound up so tight that the climax was _amazing_. I spilled over uncontrollably, consciousness sweeping out from inside, every muscle juddering and erratic. He let it go soon afterwards, repeating my name over and over again.

He collapsed onto my soiled chest and rested his chin on my shoulder, panting in time with me.

There was an unfamiliar feeling blooming in my chest. It felt like a balloon, making me feel excited for no damn reason. It felt so wonderful it hurt.

He raised his face up and kissed me full on, letting our tongues grapple before he pulled away.

"Kendall," he said, suddenly nervous. "I know you told me not to say this, but I love you. I really, really love you. I'm not saying you have to feel the same way because even if you don't I won't care- I'm not saying I don't _care _about your feelings, it's just that-"

Fucking hell. I could only half register his babblings in my hazy brain, but I'd caught the most important part.

"Shut the fuck up, James," I said. "I love you, too."

God, I lived for that smile.

**A lot of this may have seemed to be confusing. I guess I kind of intended it that way. An incomplete story that is finished. Hope you enjoyed it.**


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